Downfall of the World: People (Long Blog)

Man i do not have the time to blog at all, oh well. Anyways, a lot of things have changed in my life in the last few weeks, as will in the next few weeks, but one thing has dawned on me. I absolultely cannot stand the human race. This is sad because if anyone knows me knows that in highschool and my years of college that i attended, that i was probably the most social guy you could find. I always wanted to hang out with people 24/7. You know why? It was because in each and every person i had found God speaking to me and working through all of our conversations. But now i can very rarely hear God or even see God working thru the human race because the human race is pathetic. Am I perfect? No. Do i make mistakes or answer things wrongly? Yes. But i really can't stand people. In the last probably year I have seen several Christians not act the way that God wants us to act, and i feel like either a) its with blatant disregard and they aren't knowing what they are doing or b) they do know what they are doing and they continue to deal with things the way they are just because they selfish and foolish. You see i have been in a slide as far as me and God go for quite some time. I still pray and talk and as for forgiveness, but what is happening is since i am see people acting foolish and not care to do the right thing or act how God wants us to act, it has been hard to see God in conversations and see God at work. So im struggling, because im so tired of organized religion. I did not grow up in the church at all, but i have been going to church since like 1998 or so. Every single church....starts off good. You meet people that have similar beliefs, with similar goals. But every single church i have been do...something happens and either the church splits or something has changed within the church. Also at the bigger churches ive gone too ive noticed the bigger the congregation the more the church turns into a business or into politics. It starts to become "lets protect our name so we can stay big". Its in those big churches that you have to start worrying about money to pay more employees, with more employees its hard to have a Godly Council. I know God wants his church to be the biggest and God wants his church to grow, but how are we going to grow when we cant handle who attends there? If you can't keep a bible study group from throwing gossip around then what reasoning should you have in trying to add more people to be hurt to that group. Shouldn't you work on fixing the group? I don't know i am totally fed up with Christians. Church is a community where you should be able to go to all help each other grow closer to God and be with others who have the similiar belief system as you. It should not be a place where you gossip, or not accept one another. God doesnt want us to have to be a perfect person to attend church i know this, but still even an NONCHRISTIAN would know its just not right to start a rumor about someone from a moral stand point. This last year has been bad on me as far as this aspect on my walk with God but on another side of the view this last year has shown me what non-believers may think of how stupid christians and how hypocritical christians can be. I am just fed up with people. I work at a place where i talk about the same products, deal with really angry customers. Then I clock out and even driving on the road...some people make some made driving decisions. Playing Videogames on xbox live, people get way to prideful..its just a game gosh, quit running your mouth. Then of course, God's people being foolish. Im fed up with organized religion, people, and just everything right now. One thing im not fed up with though is God. I love him with all my heart and i know he is still that same loving father that i fell in love with 4 years ago. I will never let that go. Besides if i didnt have him, what would there be to live for?

People are so selfish nowadays. If there is something good that is going to be there in it for them, then they will do anything. Vice Versa if there aint nothing good for you then why bother right? PLEASE! what ever happened to putting others before your self????? At work i try to help out in areas im not even required to just because. But at work, we have a tv department and we have the rest of the store departments. The tv guys dont seem to want to help anyone unless it concerns a tv. So while us computer, roadshop, and merch people are busting our butts they stand around ont he internet then you ask for there help , they say "im tv guy only"......On Halo people only want to play games they want to play....i help them rank up....stay up til like 4 several nights and go to work tired for the purpose of helping them rank up...then they say yeah ill do the same for you...3 months later...nothing....once again if theres nothing there for you then why help right? I am so sick in tired of people being so selfish, it makes me want to revert back to my old ways and look out for myself first and not care about others. God doesnt want me to do that but I just keep getting hurt over and over again and ive tried and tried. But when you are the only person at the work place with that others first attitude....its hard it beats you up. And i am not perfect i screw up but i know one thing i try really hard to strive to do is put others before myself. Now when im tired or worked 6 days in a row or something yeah, i may be selfish and not help someone but I try to always put people before me. Amber can attest to this , she knows me and knows i do. and this is what God wants us to do.

I'm not saying that i am perfect, not the point of this blog. I make mistakes and i screw up. I know people will sin and screw up, but we need to stop. this is what god envision his church to be. We need to be screwups that help each other thru God's love and grace. We shouldn't be screwups that screw each other up even more.

God..help me to love people like i once did, im called to do that, but why did you make us so selfish and foolish.