Driving in circles

Well here we are its been a few months since i last blogged and some huge changes for the better in life, but then some things just never change...


June 7th i got married to the most amazing, most beautiful, and the bestest friend you could ever ask for in Amber! She completes what i can't finish in my life, and i cannot ever live without her. Marriage has been a great experience and i am glad to have a wife i can come home to, that is so happy to cook dinner and take care of me. Amber takes care of me better than anyone else could ever imagine. I appericiate all that she has done and will do, I hope she never forgets how much i love her. She gets frustrated with me because i dont think i do as much as she expects me to do. Of course we got married on the day of the big flood. It just made me think about how no matter how much you think you have things in order...nothing is really set in stone. This is hard for me to swallow ill be honest because im the type of person that wants everything to be in order and figured out. I am having a hard time enjoying life lately just ebcause i feel as though nothing is settled or figured out. I feel like it will never be. And it is hard because you can't focus on God and what he wants for you when everything in your life is going every which way or just bad. I know thats a serom in itself that...in those times is when you seek god and find him. But i dont know...to me its kind of like been there done that and nothing still has happened. I mean here we are married enjoying that part of life, but amber is without of a job due to one of the worst handled situations ive ever seen in my entire life. And i dont make enough to pay off our student loans and all that jazz. So what do you do? I dont know. WHich that ticks me off all in itself because here i do bust my butt, getting paid half of what i should, but yet now i can't even afford to get to work because of gas and cost of living. Its ridiculous. And as far as going back to school to get a degree? Because i know thats whats everyone is thinking. But my question is why? Here amber has a four year bachelors degree, and can't find a job and we are stuck paying the loans back that she had to take out to get a degree...what was the point of that again? I mean if she can't get a job with a degree why even bother you know? I am not by no means dissing on my wife, I give her props for getting a degree, but the way this world is run is like it doesnt even matter that she has a degree..

I have decided that we just have teh worst luck with things in general, and eventually things have to go up, but the question is when and how long will it be like this? Its hard to keep the joy with God when life seems to be a giant screwjob, and its the same thing over and over again.